


Angel's Menagerie

by cypherd



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Creepy creatures, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mild Language, cameo appearance by my oc, disturbing descriptions of ugly eldrich horror things, vaguely implied relationship between asmodeus and solomon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28368048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypherd/pseuds/cypherd
Summary: As an Angel, Simeon loves all living things.  Unfortunately for the residents of Purgatory Hall and the House of Lamentation, this does mean All. Living. Things.
Relationships: Asmodeus/Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Angel's Menagerie

It was by this point general knowledge, due to an up close and personal encounter with Leviathan’s first Henry in the catacombs beneath the Demon Lord’s castle that the creatures of the Devildom were hazardous to human kind. It was further knowledge that while Cerberus wasn’t  _ exactly _ the vicious attack dog Lucifer painted him as, he was almost certainly a hazard in his over enthusiasm. By all accounts giant three headed dogs may just want pets and snuggles but they could rip a human’s head off in the attempt. And thus Lucifer got to keep his acertations that the giant dog was a killer guardian of his manca--er study..

Otherwise, MC had learned by far to avoid Devildom creatures. So had Luke. Solomon was better equipped to deal, but he didn’t exactly seek them out. 

But, Siemon seemed to have some kind of death wish. Except for the small detail where things that would eat you faster than Beel on a rampage just flocked to him like the eldritch horror version of a Disney Princess.

It wasn’t only the terrifying things that composed Devildom wildlife. Henry 1.0 came up to get pats should the angel sit by the lake in the evening. MC swore they caught Asmo’s scorpions purring while the angel scritched their stingers. Satan had to be dragged off by a struggling Mammon the time all the cats in the Devildom were waiting for the Angel to give them scritches. And the CROWS.

“Seriously, what do they think they’re doing, giving money to that ANGEL?” he spit. “Ya know he gives that nonsense to charity! They know shiny coins aughta come ta me!”

MC wanted to be sympathetic but in spite of everything they had to admit that Siemon’s apparent ability to tame animals (And things that fell under the category by some definition) was impressive. And terrifying. 

“It’s his own fault.” Lucifer grumbled from his seat halfway across the room. “He’s going to find one that doesn’t love him one of these days and then…”

“Lemme guess.” Mammon added. “Precious Diavolo’s exchange program’ll be ruined. Er, Ya know big bro, I gotta side with ya on this. More because I don’t want those things anywhere near me.”

As if on cue, the House of Lamentation had a group of guests. Namely (most of) the residents of Purgatory Hall.

“We’re sorry to trouble you, but could we stay over?” The female Angel was first string on Beel’s Fangol team and had been no stranger to the House of Lamentation common room couch. Solomon was no stranger to Asmo’s bedroom. They didn’t usually bring a Luke with them.

“Yeah sure, Want me ta set up a little doggie bed for the Chihuahua?” 

Luke barely squeaked out a ‘Hey!”

“Ah yes, thank you Mammon, I appreciate you loaning out my house’s hospitality. Why am I doing this, exactly? And, for that matter, where is Siemon?”

“Oh Siemon’s new pet grew.”

“Oh fuck.” 

Mammon held his DDD up to Lucifer’s face. “Say that again! M’makin’ into my new ringtone.”

Shoving Mammon out of the way, the Avatar of Pride got up. “Alright this ends now. You lot can stay here. I’m going to speak with Siemon.”

Lucifer made his way across the campus. Siemon was not hard to find and nor did he seem to find the Avatar of Pride’s stony expression a reason to be concerned. “Oh hi!”

Even Lucifer was aghast at the fact that his former brother was petting what could only be described as a pan of lasagna made out of inside out organs that was pulsing and cooing. There was also a thing that seemed to be made of blackened fingernails and ichor that was eating a steady hole through the patio.

If Siemon was disturbed by any of this ...well...apparently the angel wasn’t disturbed by any of this.

“I’m giving you TONIGHT to get rid of ….THIS.”

“But Bob is kind of fluffy”

“You NAMED IT!?”

“He needed a name.”

“It has a GENDER?”

“Well of course Luci! Its cruel to judge that way!”

“You named it ‘Bob’?”

“You basically named YOUR pet Spot.”

“All of your roommates are sat in my hall of residence. And terrified of whatever the hell THAT is. I don’t know what that is. What IS that?”

This seemed the appropriate thing to say to Siemon. After all the idea his roommates were in trouble did make him worry.

“Okay, buddy.x Oh I think if Leviathan is correct that’s a Henry that can live on land. He seems pretty happy here and he is kinda snuggly”   
  
Lucifer chose not to worry about the enormous slug like thing that was crawling into Siemon’s lap, nor the fact he was gently shooing it away.

“I almost don’t want to ask but did you name that too?”

“This is Squiggles.” Siemon said pleasantly.

“Why--?” Lucifer started, only for the squid to puke up several tongues (possibly) composed of tentacles. “Great. You also didn’t tell me what that is.”

“I don’t know.” Siemon hummed. “It appears to have human hands for eyes.”

“Yes. Yes it does.” Lucifer nodded.  
  
The fact that when Siemon reached for it it made a happy sort of purring noise did not instill Lucifer with confidence

“Basically your entire house is taking up my common room. So this. THIS” He waved a hand expansively at the dubious menagerie “Needs to go.”

“I’ll put him outside.” 

“And the other one.”

“Her too.”

“I’m really not going to ask how you know it’s female.”

By this point the two unusual critters were sat outside on Purgatory Halls’ front steps with Siemon sat with them cooing at the horrible eldrich horrors as the other residents looked on.

“Okay, I didn’t mean to…well, for this.”

“Wait, Solomon, you were a part of this?”

The Sorcerer had the grace to look slightly sheepish. “Er well I summoned one by accident. It’s rare I mess up a spell that badly, but before I could send it back it kind of took to Siemon”

“Oh excellent. This right here is tons of excellent.” 

“Luci, it likes you!”

Lucifer had to admin the thing ...pulsating...in his lap was kind of adorable. And so was Siemon. No amount of pride would allow him to admit either, however his last words betrayed him as he sank a little into the deck chair.

“Alright. For now.”


End file.
